Black Men Need Not Apply

Online, April 21, 2010 (Newswire.com) - Why can't successful, single black women find a good man?

It seems to be the question of the year; why can't successful, single black women find a good man? The answer most experts give is that African American women are sending out the message that black men need not apply for the job of husband. But, what's not often considered is how many women have a "good" man and just haven't chosen to tie the knot yet or how many African American women buy the hype that there aren't any quality men available so they've stopped looking, put up walls to prevent a man from getting close or spend their lives surrounded by people who block their ability to meet someone.

The statistics and questions also don't consider that black women, like all women, have free will; with that may come the desire to remain single in order to pursue their dreams, better understand themselves, define the parameters of relationships they might have or simple a need to be independent from the restrictions that come along with monogamy and marriage.

It's been argued that the standards of African American women are too high; that since they are increasingly earning college degrees, buying homes and starting businesses, they want or demand a man with the same thereby limiting their choices or emasculating any man who doesn't measure up. It's not often considered that any man, a real man looking for a partnership-which is what a marriage is supposed to be-should welcome a woman with means, intellect, and ability to assist the households rather than be threatened by it; that a "good" partner should want his other "half" to live up to her potential so that she is a healthy, happy and whole with and without him.

Of course, so called experts so that women should lower their standards, even settle for someone who doesn't meet their ideal just so they aren't alone. I wonder if these same people consider this logic or fear of ending up alone, as we are when we enter the world, is one of the leading causes behind divorce and broken homes.
I look at the rise of singles in this county in my book I Didn't Work This Hard Just to Get Married: Successful, Single Black Women Speak Out. What I found is that while most people want someone to share their life with being about to fulfill your own dreams as an individual has gives women the opportunity get married for the right reasons and therefore have a healthier, better functioning, long lasting union.

Successful, single black women take center stage in my book I Didn't Work This Hard Just to Get Married. Through lively and revealing interviews with women from various walks of life, it explores the challenges and issues affecting single black women, forging ahead in today's society by defying expectations. They candidly discuss aging without a man and reevaluate dating, single homeownership, career, and children. These women speak directly to the female experience, addressing unique challenges such as income discrepancies between genders, the high rate of male incarceration, and the Baby Momma Syndrome. The women discuss the false expectations they face from men, from families, and from friends. Written in the best tradition of girlfriend talking to girlfriend, the book delivers tales of lessons learned, hard times and good times, told by women who found ways to achieve their dreams by defying convention. Their conclusion: Singlehood, whether temporary or permanent, and though often challenging, is a fulfilling state.

I Didn't Work This Hard Just to Get Married
ISBN: 978-1-55652-819-4
To read an excerpt: www.mcbeamon.com
Available @ Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com
To watch a video trailer: log on to Youtube.com

For more information:
Contact: Nika C. Beamon
P: 973-230-0923
E: [email protected]

Advance Praise:
"...Though written from black women's perspectives, this book has appeal for all women looking for a fresh take on being single," ---April 1, BookList Magazine.
"...This book is for women of all ages; women who believe their clocks are ticking and are running out of time. Women who feel like they need a man to define them, you will definitely enjoy this book from cover-to-cover as you take this journey into finding yourself."
Reviewed by: Cheryl Hayes, APOOO BookClub

"What an incredibly liberating and inspiring collection of stories...about learning to be comfortable in your skin and what u got -and that we are not alone in our journey. Thank you Nika for this gift."

Terrie M. Williams
Author, Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting

"This is an exciting book that fully explores the option of single status and the lives of the women who choose it... Nika Beamon gives women making life choices a window into the thought processes of other women who have made similar choices. It is an important addition to work on the lives and options of African American women, and it is an absorbing read."

Julianne Malveaux
President, Bennett College for Women

"Although I am an award-winning filmmaker, TV personality and author, many of my family members feel as though I lead a shallow and empty life because I choose to be unmarried without children. In this well-researched and thoughtful tome, Nika Beamon has given a voice to true choice among women in this post-millennial era."

Abiola Abrams, BET host
Author of the novel, Dare