How To Have Effective Conversations
If you think about it, engaging in conversations consumes a large part of your day. Therefore, as a manager, doesn't it make sense to make these conversations as effective as possible? This article provides techniques/strategies for doing just that.
Online, March 1, 2011 (Newswire.com) - Effective conversations might not seem to be such an important management skill, but I believe it's one of the most important skills.
Most of what we achieve, we achieve through conversations. Conversations such as:
1. Asking the boss for a larger budget.
2. Explaining to a member of staff why they aren't cutting it, and how to improve.
3. Convincing a customer that the problem won't happen again.
4. Etc...
Unfortunately, a lot of conversations start of well, but they somehow get derailed, and we don't get the results we were hoping for.
The following articles explain why conversations get derailed, and how to prevent it from happening (i.e. how to communicate effectively).
What gets in the way?
"Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him." [Virginia Satir ]
So, you're having a conversation. Everything started off well. But all of a sudden, the conversation derails, beset by misunderstandings, confusion, talking at cross-purposes and the like. Why does that happen?
Well, the short answer is: your mind. The very mind you rely on for information and to keep the conversation going is also the mind that can sabotage the conversation. Faulty thinking is the cause and ineffective communication is the result.
Here are some ways your mind gets in the way of your understanding of other people and their points of view.
Filtering:
You decide to zero in on a particular aspect of the conversation - a detail, a feeling a word or an expression - and you allow this one element to influence you. It's like after having bought a red car, all you seem to notice is other red cars. Nothing else can get through your "filtering" system.
Almost everyone has their own set of filters - often unconscious. Victims look through their victimization filter; anxious folks look through their anxiety filters; angry people look through their anger filters - all to the exclusion of anything else. All they see is their red car. And, afterwords, the red car is all they remember. Nothing more; nothing less
Either-or thinking:
The world is black or white - no shades of grey allowed. You are this way or that way. People who think like this live in a world of emotional extremes and they judge others by their own extreme standards.
Read the full article here ...
10 Tips for Effective Conversation:
I wish conversation skills were taught at school. We spend most of our life talking, and yet many people remain in the dark on this essential life skill.
There are many suggestions for developing conversation skills, but, the most important is a sensitivity to the other person. We need to be able to adapt our conversation to whoever we speak with.
We need to develop the right balance between talking and bringing out the best in the other person. If we can avoid being egotistical and consider the interests of others they will instinctively enjoy talking with us. If we offer boring conversation, we will only attract boring people to speak with.
Some Tips for Effective Conversation:
1. Avoiding Unnecessary Detail.
Suppose you are a cyclist and a non cyclist asks you about your new bike. What they are wanting is a brief description - like what colour is it? how much does it weigh? how much did it cost? did it come with free sachets of EPO?
In all probability they are not interested in your bike at all, but, are asking out of politeness. Therefore, don't bother them with detail they do not understand and don't care for. The 674 gram, 20 gear Shimano Dura Ace STI groupset may be fascinating to you; but, it means nothing to the non cyclist.
If you go on about the technical detail it will only bore the other person senseless. If you really feel you have to share the latest Shimano groupset mechanism, at least, find another cyclist.
When we talk in great detail about our hobby / work / speciality we feel we are very knowledgeable - that is true, we are very knowledgeable, but, it makes for very boring conversation. Don't show off with technical knowledge, be considerate of the other person.
Read the full article here ...
Article Source: How To Have Effective Conversations
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Tags: effective communication, effective conversations, persuasive communication
